Mickey Walker

End of Days, Part II: New Revelations and Letting Go of Squirrel and Human Hate

Mickey Walker-May 2, 2010

In Part I the squirrels were eating my cedar house as though it were Ritz crackers and peanut butter.  I judged them to be a menace.  Funny thing, but my neighbors did not care.  Neither did my barber.    Imagine that.  Playing the victim is passé` and doesn’t get a lot of sympathy these days.

Yet today, the new spring leaves, a-twirl in the breeze, bright yellow rays bathing them in a world of gold, gives me a temporary lift, a change of mood.  The squirrels scamper about the leaves and branches up at eye level on my second story tree house in the woods.  What handsome fellows.  Then there comes a gnawing as if something were gently sawing outside my chamber window.  Damn squirrel!  I raise the glass window and peek slowly out, and there he is, spread eagle and stuck to the side of my house like a suction cup.  He seems intelligent, more so than a Tea Partier with a “No Youth in Asia” sign painted in Red Neck font.  I gently raise my BB pistol at him and fire, bang, bang, bang, bang, as he scurries down the house over the picket gate and into the woods.  Don’t know if I hit him, but he knows that he was under attack and completed two aerobatic summersaults while springing from the house to the limbs of the high trees.

Unlike people and dogs, squirrels do not seem to remember unpleasantries like BBs stinging them in the butt.  No Pavlov lessons learned when it comes to squirrels. Give it half an hour and they come back for more like nothing happened.  So I managed to drive a forest creature that lived here long before me from his natural home.  I was a hero, but felt empty at the same time, you know?

I vanquished a rodent all in the name of house and territory and what we humans call home. I thought about how when man attacks another creature or nation he does it in the name of a righteous cause.  After all, I couldn’t allow him to destroy my home, now could I?  It was not a simple matter of politics or difference in beliefs or of civil rights of squirrels and man.  It had become my own interpretation of what the universe should be, and I was the judge and BB executioner. I was the Decider of the fate of squirrels, not man, as was Bush when he attacked Iraq.  I thought about how if Bush had been the Squirrel Decider, and I the Human Decider, Bush might have shown more competence in managing the Squirrel War.  He would not have spent near the bucks or the human lives in the process.  And if I had been Human Decider, America would never have attacked Iraq.

But squirrels can be a problem.  Oh, I had tried to be noble at first.  I tried all the stink sprays on the wood cornices, which the squirrels ate with gusto as if I had given them a shake of nutmeg and cinnamon on the shakes.  Tried the cage trap and release across the San Jacinto River technique, too, but there were too many of them.  They reproduced faster than I could trap them.  Electronic plug-in squirrel deflectors, fugettaboutit, they don’t work.  Pepper spray, mothballs tucked in the eaves, a waste of time.  The squirrels probably gobbled them up like Milk Duds.

I sighed and wished things had not come to such a place.  I wanted to enjoy the squirrels as they played in the trees, not shoot at them.

I diverted my attentions to Walden by Henry David Thoreau.  Remember his chapter on ‘Brute Neighbors?’  Thoreau said of a woodchuck that ate his beans in his staked-off human garden, that the chuck was one of God’s creatures and could partake of his beans with no hard human feelings.  But then, later, Thoreau says that he had the impulse to seize the creature and eat him raw.  Quite a paradox, but perhaps the two thoughts were not joined as a justification to destroy and consume the woodchuck as punishment for eating up the bean field.  Perhaps Thoreau was describing some mysterious human trait that drives us to make sad choices toward our fellow animal creatures of the earth, maybe because we can.  Is that dark part of our human unconscious, the one where pain lives and hurts us, the host, and other creatures, alive and well?  Can man control his Darth Vader inside us all?  Can man coexist with Nature without spoiling it all for himself, the spiders, the whales, and the squirrels?  Can man tolerate his human neighbors as well?  Can we smile at our neighbors and be glad they are there without doing them dirt in some way?

Thoreau went on to say how much it pleased him to go a-fishing in Walden Pond, to take the silver trout, dripping clear droplets in the mesh of his net, dress them up and roast them over an open fire, and only later to feel sad about it all.  He went through a period of wishing that he were a complete vegetarian, a nobler creature who would draw no animal blood whatsoever.  The eating of animals made him sadder as one of, but the most destructive of, animals on planet earth.  Curious.

I meandered to those bumper-car collisions in the mind.  Was this philosophy to destroy squirrels and set the books of Nature straight, typically human?  To wit, did I have the moral right to affect outcomes with strength and power and pellet guns, well, just because I could?  Was I justified in pelting squirrels in the ass just because I judged them to be bad?  And could?

Is ‘might right?’

Do we have the right to attack and kill each other and any animals of our choosing just because we as a species have the power?  Does making the judgment, and then inflicting the trauma on another species or our own fellow man, well, does it bring us happiness?  Are we fulfilled as a species at knowing that we exerted our will and power over another and made him heel?

Robert Frost said that man’s finest writing was “about the human heart at struggle with itself.”  Precisely.  I was struggling with whether I had the right (or was right) in attacking squirrels who lived in the forest about my house.  And could (or did I have the right) to shoot them (dead if necessary) to save something of value to a human (me)? But other thoughts tugged at me, too, like weren’t we humans the keepers, and the enforcers of the greater good?  Wasn’t our charge as keepers of the faith to fight countries of the Evil Axis or the Evil Empire?  And if squirrels ate your human house, well wasn’t it a just thing to drive them away?

I wanted to save my house, but I wanted to be one with Nature, too.  Sadly Woody Allen’s quip, “I am two with Nature.”  was more like it.  I was there.  Is that what Frost meant about the human heart at struggle with itself?  Why would that be particularly worth writing about?  It seemed to me that I was bordering on treading in the dark waters of some dreadful human unconsciousness.  Neurosis, anyone?

Does the United States have the right to attack countries at will, such as Iraq, kill their leaders because we deem them to be harboring terrorists and about to attack the United States when in truth, it’s about hard line Goebbels propaganda tactics to further the purpose of Big Brother’s latest whims?  Was there some human unconsciousness at work when we attacked Iraq?  After all, Osama bin Laden and the Taliban who harbored him operated out of Afghanistan, not Iraq, right?  Did we just opt to go after Iraq with no proof of or existence of Weapons of Mass Destruction (as Bush scared us about in his state of the union address) because, well, they were Middle Eastern Muslims who were unlike us Judeo-Christians here in America where we enjoy freedom of religion?  Psychologically, were we making war on not only the squirrels that were not eating our house (Iraq) but on all the flying squirrels, chipmunks, fox squirrels, ground squirrels, the whole squirrel species and animal class (all dark-skinned Middle East people)?  Just because they looked alike, and hated the United States (so some have said the Koran tells them to do) and needed to be eradicated like the squirrels that were eating my house?

So Bush gave 'em “Shock and Awe.” Lovely.  Like the squirrels eating my house, neither the Iraqis nor the rest of the world seemed to get it, the meaning of the BBs, the Tomahawk missiles, the smart bombs that lit up the Baghdad night.  They returned, just as the Iraqis kept on living in their homeland, and new terrorists came into the country.  And several hundred thousand bodies later, is Iraq better off than they were?  Does the world applaud us for doing the right thing?  Or the might thing?  I don’t know.  Maybe Toby Keith could tell us after running over 100s of the Dixie Chicks’ CDs in his pickup truck.  Running over things and attacking things was the order of the day, by God.  Swell.  Bubba found new meaning in his life after 911.  Now it was okay for him to hate.

The squirrels will never get it though.  They are Nature-embedded and God-fashioned creatures that have their own unique character that sets them apart.  They are different.  And that is a good thing, if we train ourselves to look long enough.

Right now there is a squirrel below on my wooden fence gate, eating an acorn he just plucked from my backyard rose garden.  He does not see me and twirls the acorn around and around to get the right angle for chewing.  He is alive and well and a part of the universe, and right now he is not eating my house.  I ponder it all.  He needs to be alive, I think, so I might learn some new tricks and fit in and be a part of the whole, so that my spirit might not wither.  And lose touch with perhaps the simple things, the most important things about being here and getting the most out of this short journey.  Bottom line, I got to have squirrels and learn to get along with them.  They are too fine and sleek to ignore, to pass over, or to shoot.  They have become quite a treat to be with in these, the twilight years as we all approach the inevitable, the end of days.

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