The Well Infidel

Bill Maher Should Be America's Surgeon General!

By Donald B. Ardell - September 22, 2009

Bill Maher, my choice for Czar of REAL Wellness if such an office ever becomes a top position in the Executive branch of government, has condensed in one NEW RULE a central idea I have been promoting for at least 30 years in a dozen books, 74 printed newsletters, 503 weekly electronic newsletters and about 500 speeches. Sheesh—I wish I had a sense of humor and could write hilarious copy that cuts to the quick in the Maher manner.

In my first book, High Level Wellness: An Alternative To Doctors, Drugs and Disease (Rodale, 1976), I wrote: "Modern medicine is a wonderful thing but there are two problems: people expect too much of it and too little of themselves." If we all expected more of ourselves, that is, lived wisely aided by positive choices that enabled high levels of fitness while foregoing the common high risk behaviors (smoking, excessive alcohol intake, fat and sugary low density foods, sedentary living, etc.), we would not need a $2.6 trillion per year medical system to attend to avoidable maladies.

Of course, Maher gets to the point faster with high hilarity.

Here is Bill Maher's latest NEW RULE. Every paragraph is funny AND true at the same time, and it sweeps away all the BS contained in tens of thousands of ponderous position papers produced by policy experts on the right, left and middle concerning health system reform—and that's only in the last few days.

After each of the following paragraphs of Bill Maher's NEW RULE commentary, in quotes, you will find additional brief remarks from me.

New Rule: You can't complain about health care reform if you're not willing to reform your own health. Unlike most liberals, I'm glad all those teabaggers marched on Washington last week. Because judging from the photos, it's the first exercise they've gotten in years. Not counting, of course, all the Rascal scooters there, most of which aren't even for the disabled. They're just Americans who turned 60 and said, 'Screw it, I'm done walking.'

How come next to nobody has been pointing this out? It's as if the emperor has no clothes but nobody notices that he's not only bare nekked—he's corpulent, as well. The emperor in this case is the American people—and those complaining about the medical system need to reform their own health. To Bill Maher, I say what is often said as an expression of enthusiastic approval downunder: "You beaudy." 

Maher's New Rule continues:

These people are furious at the high cost of health care, so they blame illegals, who don't even get health care. News flash, Glenn Beck fans: the reason health care is so expensive is because you're all so unhealthy.

Just so. Therefore, one would expect our new president, a leader with good sense and good values and excellent advisers, to find a way to emphasize the vital role of personal responsibility at every turn. Would YOU not expect that? Incredibly, he does not do so. Why not? President Obama, a model of good living and committed to exercise (albeit a closet struggling-to-quit light smoker), surely knows the importance of exercise and wise lifestyle choices that lower health risks and, more important, boost quality of life. What is going on? How can this be explained? It's a wonderment, is it not?

More from Maher and his wonderful New Rule:

Yes, it was fun this week to watch the teabaggers complain how the media underestimated the size of their march, 'How can you say there were only 60,000 of us? We filled the entire mall!' Yes, because you're fat. One whale fills the tank at Sea World, that doesn't make it a crowd.

Brilliant, truly smack on. Alas, if you are not a celebrated comic with your own show on HBO, you really can't get away with pointing out that folks are fat, let alone making unflattering analogies about fat Republicans and others with a Sea World whale.

Maher on the obvious (in other words, the emperor's nudity): 

President Obama has identified all the problems with the health care system, but there's one tiny issue he refuses to tackle, and that's our actual health.

Mr. President! Please start talking about this.

What should the president say? That's easy. Here is one of two options, though there are many more ways to make the point and support it with incentives.

Maher:

And since Americans can only be prodded into doing something with money, we need to tax crappy foods that make us sick like we do with cigarettes, and alcohol -- and alcohol actually serves a useful function in society in that it enables unattractive people to get laid, which is more than you can say for Skittles. I'm not saying tax all soda, but certainly any single serving of soda larger than a baby is not unreasonable. If you don't know whether you burp it or it burps you, that's too big.

An option here is to prod Americans with money in a positive way. Instead of taxing bad choices, reward good ones. Make gym membership deductible and make progress in meeting fitness standards the basis for tax credits. Be sure to reward those who are ALREADY doing the right things with lifestyles that minimize their risks of ill health. Don't worry—it won't cost but a fraction of what it now costs to treat folks after they get sick and besides, there are not all that many avid wellness practitioners anyway—which is pitiful.

Maher was not finished in describing his New Rule. He added this:

We need to make taking care of ourselves an issue of patriotism. If you were someone who condemned Bush for not asking Americans to sacrifice for the war on terror, the same must be said for Obama and health care.

Hoorah. I have been writing essays urging presidents to do that since the Harding Administration. Some of the more recent commentaries are available at SeekWellness in the archives.

So what is our president doing to urge Americans to reform their own health care situation while he works to create a better medical system for times when illness does strike, as it must in all our lives, no matter how attentive we are to good health practices?

Not much, as Maher notes in his New Rule: 

President Arugula is not gonna tell Americans they're fat and lazy. No sin tax on food on Obama's watch. And at a time when it's important to set new standards for personal responsibility, he appointed a surgeon general, who is, I'm sorry, kind of fat. Certainly too heavy to be a surgeon general, it's a role model thing. It would be like appointing a Secretary of the Treasury who didn't pay his taxes. He did?

Now why did our president do that? There must be a good reason.

Sadly, there is not and, in fact, it gets even worse. Here's Maher on the last part of his new rule: 

And get this: Surgeon General Benjamin had previously been a nutritional adviser to Burger King. The only advice a 'health expert' should give Burger King is to stop selling food. The 'nutritional adviser' job was described as, 'promoting balanced diets and active lifestyle choices' -- and who better to do that than the folks who hand you meat and corn syrup through a car window? When you have a surgeon general who comes from Burger King, it's a message to lobbyists, and that message is, 'Have it your way.'

Read more at the Huffington Post.

Well, in my view it's a fabulous New Rule. It is not too late for our president, who is NOT George W. Bush (whom I believe would ignore common sense if it were to the advantage of the food, drug or any other big business group—like the health insurance industry), to begin to talk about self reform. President Obama should lead the way—talk about REAL wellness lifestyles and urge the Congress to establish incentives for personal responsibility as THE foundation element in health reform. I know just what he should say to start things off, and I believe Bill Maher would find this suggested remark fully compliant with and supportive of his wonderful New Rule: The president should say: "My fellow Americans—Ask NOT what the health system can do for you. Ask what YOU can do to need the health system less."

Not as elegant as JFK's original version, but it makes the point, as has Bill Maher.

Be well, choose wisely and always look on the bright side of life.   TPJmagazine

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