By Donald B. Ardell – March 22, 2009
I put no more stock in the predictive value of dreams than I do in the
so-called prophesies of Nostradamus, crackpot ESP con artists or religious
zanies like Pat Robertson. Nor do I read much into images or episodes of any
kind experienced in dream states. The latter may be rough guides to inner
turmoil, or maybe not. Perhaps some revelations or scenarios, particularly
those that are vivid and emotional, should be explored with trained
professionals in therapy, aided by powerful drugs. I hope not, because I am
definitely NOT so inclined, even if “we are such stuff as dreams are made on
and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” (Prospero, The Tempest, Act 4,
scene 1.)
Therefore, I did not think much about a visit last night
from Rush Limbaugh, who wanted to apologize for making such an ass of himself
lately (i.e., at least the last eight or thirty years). “Why apologize to
me?” I asked Rush. “I don't care - tell your listeners. Tell Michael Steele.”
”I find you obnoxious, pathetic, grotesque and an
abomination. I don't take apologies for others - tell the American people you
are sorry for being such a wretch and reform your ways. But please, don't
bother me - I'm a wellness guy. I look on the bright side, stay positive, take
responsibility, pursue happiness, exercise a lot, search for meaning and act at
all times with compassion and love for my fellow man. Go away, you awful
person.”
When I finished, Rush looked at me in a melancholic way and
said, “Don, you're the only one who can guide me. You understand REAL wellness.
Please, don't reject me. I'm obese, unhappy, addicted to drugs; I have no real
friends, except the lunatics who thrive on my unhinged rants. I want to reform
my ways, change my life, make amends and become a decent person. I also want to
shape a healthy lifestyle, have more fun, contribute to society in a positive
way. I even want to help Barack Obama succeed, not fail. Won't you help me?”
Well, let me tell you - I felt awful. Why had I responded so
harshly? I was almost as mean and nasty as Rush - with Rush. Did I want to be
like that? No way. So, like Michael Steele, I apologized to Rush. I said, “It's
not too late. Don't worry about the past. Now that everyone expects the worst
from you, you can be like Nixon in the 70's, opening up a dialogue with
China! I'll help you. Start by telling everyone you no longer want to be
the face or the leader of the Republican Party. You don't want to be obnoxious,
pathetic, grotesque, an abomination or a wretch. From now on, you will promote
REAL wellness - reason, exuberance and liberty. You're going to look on the
bright side, stay positive, take responsibility, pursue happiness, exercise a
lot, search for meaning and act at all times (with rare exceptions) with
compassion and love for your fellow man. You will even root for and help
President Obama to succeed, not fail. You will be a new Rush Limbaugh person,
thoughtful, kind and mellow, constructive and positive.”
Well, I can tell you, when I woke up I felt great. I felt
full of energy, good will and passion - I wanted to go to work and write
articles that would set things right. I looked over at my lovely wife, sleeping
soundly and felt hugely amorous, I woke her up, put my arm around her - but I won't
go into all of that here. I'll save that for my pay-for-view site.
Anyway, before long, I remembered I don't put much stock or
read much into dreams, so all good will toward Rush was gone before I fired up
the coffeepot. Then again, dreams sometimes augur moral lessons and those who
ignore dreams (e.g., as in Macbeth) do so at some peril. Who knows, maybe Rush
will change his ways. If he does, remember this tale. Maybe I'm psychic, have
ESP or can see the future. I don't think so but if Rush transforms in the very
near future, I might reconsider. 